I constantly feel lost in the barren desert of Hawthorne. When I lived in Colorado, I always felt like I had potential. Here, I feel like the potential is almost non-existent because people seem to like it that way. They are perfectly okay with everything always being as it was and should always be. I am someone that is forward thinking and it has taken a toll over a period.
I have tried several jobs with little success. Most jobs, I find myself burned out because nothing ever changes. Nobody ever sees the potential, and they certainly don’t care to. They all want things to remain as they are and skew things in the name of greed. Overall, they could care less what the cost is to new generations, or current ones for that matter.

One job, I was catfished into believing that they were an innovator. McKaye Treanor convinced me that she was operating a youth facility for the purpose of assisting children that were facing difficulties in their emotional lives. What ended up happening is I spent ten (10) months of my life struggling to keep the doors open.

A vision alone isn’t sufficient. That is particularly true when the vision is a ruse with no sincerity. Aurora Center for Healing was not intended to help children. Instead, it had pretty literature that hid a terrible truth. Children in crisis are highly profitable to those that want to exploit them. It is even easier to conceal evil intentions when there are accreditation agencies that will slap a seal on anything, even though no evidence it works.
When I started speaking out about the abuses of the facility, I was quickly let go. The owner, Mckaye Treanor, was not happy that I discovered that she was telling staff she had reported incidents that she had covered up to keep her license active. In hindsight, I should’ve known that something was going on sooner when she insisted that she was the one editing documents and submitting them.

The experience was not a total loss, or regret. I did get a child out of the situation. I only wish that I had more room in my home to save more kids that the system has failed. I also met a lot of good people that were trying to help kids, just like I was. Without the con, that never would’ve happened to me. I would change the job, but not the experience.
Since that experience, I have not been able to clearly define a direction. I know it is time to start looking forward at what my life looks like. For the past two years, all my energy went into getting my kid stabilized and ensuring he had a reasonable quality of life. He will always need me in some capacity, but as time goes on, the amount of intervention needed has shrunk substantially.

I think that looking forward is the only path that I must look at. The problem is tumbleweed town has very few opportunities for growth. If I lived in a less miserable location, it would be the land of opportunity. Instead, I feel marooned in a town of the past with very little desired potential. Moving would be ideal, but it is not really an option as my spouse enjoys his job.

The good news is that I have a few months to determine a good direction for myself. As things currently stand, I am considering going back to college. I have a master’s degree, but it is of very little interest to a community that has almost no education. I need to find a degree that gives me purpose and can remote work that I would enjoy.

A doctorate would provide no value to a community that doesn’t value education. I know I could easily achieve a doctorate. I am very smart and savvy in the business world. The problem is that savvy isn’t desirable here, crooked behavior and cheating is the only thing that they seem to treasure as it has always been precedent.

I am currently exploring a LCSW as a possibility, or a teaching credential. Either of those options I may be able to gain remote options with a higher level of purpose. Both of those opportunities could also limit the amount of exposure that I am required to have with the Hawthorne Hooligans.

All I know is my life cannot continue to remain still. I refuse to accept that I will just grow old and die in a hopeless pit of despair rural area. I know I have potential; I just must decide what potential to tap into. I have my fingers crossed I can get an initial path discovered by enrollment time in April for the summer semester of college.