Advocacy is something that surrounds every aspect of our lives. Nothing happens without advocacy of some kind. In a busy world we have the option to either sit silent, or stand up for ourselves and others.

This post is mainly about advocacy when it comes to rights. We cannot simply assume that public offices fully understand mandates, or the law. After all, they are people just like us. The laws and rules are so complex that it would be nearly impossible to know all of them, particularly in an educational setting.

We really also have the choice to choose advocacy over adversarial. Adversarial does not always suit our needs either. Adversarial, even when right can create unnecessary delays and hoops. Being later vindicated doesn’t always help, I know from personal experience.

If I hadn’t advocated for the needs of my youth, he would likely still be sitting at home without an education. During the blackout period, they were not even offered services. They only received homework at the end of the suspension rather than along the way.

Advocacy can also show younger generations that sometimes there are resolutions that are collaborative. The youth of today are always watching and often what they see online does not paint an appropriate picture. They believe that being a “Karen” is how things get done, rather than compassion, compromise, and collaboration. I made sure my kid knew how the resolution came about, and was not the result of aggression.

I will say during the process, I did learn that the system has a number of hoops that are designed to empower the wrong decisions that are made at school levels. They can simply throw process after process. It is so complex in my case that they actually ensnared themselves with delays that were inappropriate.

If we want a kinder world, we need to learn advocacy not adversarial. Understanding overbullying should become a norm not the exception. You can tell that the school is used to the bully-bulldozer rather than solution-based results.

Advocacy doesn’t mean we simply roll over. I will admit I was heated at numerous points in the interaction. It means that we pause and consider resolution over who is technically right. Solutions can come in many forms, not just the way you believe it should be.

In my case the resolution came from the Superintendent. My resolution was not superior. In reality, her solution was more well-rounded. She was able to consider all the voices in the room, not just my desired outcome. Adversarial based would have missed the opportunity for full resolution for the sole sake of being right about a single point.