I previously blogged about how I had been given the advice to blog in an attempt to get some radical acceptance. I was initially afraid that it might make the trauma worse, but the reality is it has in fact helped.
When I was at the school district, I often felt powerless and a failure. I felt that way because I allowed Hope Blinco, Andre Ponder, and Diane Rodriguez to make me feel that way. It was by design. From getting my pay cut in retaliation, them meeting without me, the cover ups, and sham investigations were designed to make me feel powerless.
It can be very frustrating when you find yourself constantly one against an incompetent mob of unethical people running at you. Even that was by design because they made sure never had time to get to the bottom of anything, or find the truth.
The one thing the three musketeers of corruption are actually competent at is stonewalling, deflecting, victim shaming, and attempting to manipulate what is known and provable to be true. It was extremely exhausting. I would sit in my office just waiting for one them to throw a firecracker of drama at me. It was always undoubtedly when I was onto something.
The reality is when they constructively terminated me, it gave me the time to seek my truth. As a private citizen the best bad tactic they had was the fictitious restraining order that failed miserably and was dissolved. Sometimes I still wonder if I should’ve pursued malicious prosecution against Diane for that intentional act. The only reason I didn’t is because that would’ve been giving into their deflection tactics. The plot was never about me as much as it was stopping me from finding the truth.
Through public records requests, I was slowly able to prove that all my concerns had the amount of merit I thought. A gang of hooligans was in fact gaslighting me. The truth is in the paperwork, its not subjective.
The real challenge is often swaying between giving up the job I loved, the staff members I enjoyed working with, because of rotten apples in the bunch. On the other hand I question whether should’ve let them push me out sooner. I also wonder if should’ve been more vocal about the whole thing before now. Clearly not publicizing everything I went through did not get me any leniency from abuse.
As I tell all the stories, I do find each instance bothers me left after I blog it. I think because it is no longer a secret that terrorize me. Morally bankrupt people don’t deserve to have their secrets kept at the expense of the public at large.
No need to fear, I am not even close to being out of material and the blog will be continuing for the foreseeable future. Given the fact I have only blogged a small single digit percentage of what they put me through, I can only imagine how I will feel a year from now with exponentially more burden lifted.
